Resolving Conflict in the Church

Recently, I received an email from a young clergy grieving over conflict in his church and the ineffectiveness of the techniques used in handling the conflict. Research is showing that churches are literally being destroyed by church fights.  A recent documentary, Betrayed: The Clergy Killer’s DNA, by US Films, effectively demonstrates the destruction that is happening across the Church worldwide.

The number of ministers leaving ministry today due to conflict is overwhelming. G. Lloyd Rediger's book, Clergy Killers is a great resource for outlining the damaging conflicts pastors encounter in their ministries and how to manage them to achieve the best outcome for all. In it he writes, “We are not just talking about conflict anymore, we are talking about emotional and spiritual abuse in traumatic proportions. And we are discovering that such abuse is exhausting pastors and draining the energy and resources of congregations and denominational programs.”[1]

We must learn how to find healthy resolutions for the conflict occurring in our churches and find healthy ways to deal with the hurt we have suffered at the hands of our abusers. On August 19-21, Leadership Nexus will sponsor the Developing Healthy Clergy and Congregations Conference  in Richmond, Virginia, to deal with this topic. This conference will seek to offer solutions for dealing with church conflict and restoring church unity, vitality and overall church health. I encourage you to participate you will find all kinds of instructions, help, and encouragement.

There has been conflict in the Church since the first century. It is time that we learn how to handle it before the Church is destroyed! Make plans to join us for this very important event!

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[1] Rediger, G. Lloyd, Clergy Killer’s (Logos Productions, Inc., 1997), 7.

What Are We Doing to Help Those Hurting From the Devastation of Divorce?

There are few problems in American society more terrible than divorce. We grieve over the violence of cancer. We struggle with violence in our streets. We are angry about injustice done in our companies and our country. However, one of the issues that we are not dealing with is divorce. I am not talking about how to prevent divorce, which, of course is most important. The reality is that half of our marriages are ending in divorce, and churches are not helping people through this difficult time in their life. I’m talking about ministering to the people who are going through this terribly painful, agonizing experience. 

Jesus taught us to be like the Good Samaritan. When someone is hurting, we are to help. Why don’t we help our brothers and sisters when they are going through one of the worst things any human being has to go through, a divorce?

In order to provide this type of ministry we need training. Leadership Nexus has designed two very helpful workshops to minister to this need:

First, we are offering a ministry to those going through divorce called, Single Again. It is a 3-day supportive workshop that will help anyone who has or is going through divorce. It is modeled off of a very successful divorce recovery workshop I began during my time as Senior Pastor of Christ United Methodist Church in Tulsa. 

Second, is a two-day workshop, Creating an Effective Singles Ministry, held in conjunction with the divorce recovery workshop. During this workshop you will be able to observe Single Again in progress and learn invaluable tools to use in your own ministry. 

I am very passionate about Singles Ministry and Divorce Care Ministries. It's time we start reaching out to this ever-growing population of adults. If we would reach out to them maybe our churches would grow and not die. We need to fulfill the call of the Great Commission and serve as the Good Samaritan to those going through the intense pain of divorce.

I hope you will make plans now to join me for this training and invite your family, friends or congregation to be a part of the Single Again event. I have had many people tell me it saved their life!

You can read more about both of these workshops by visiting our website or contacting me today.

The Church is Becoming a Rock Pile

I have just returned from England, where I was speaking to several groups of leaders of the Anglican Church, as a part of a series of lectures on “Effective Evangelism Today”. I was excited about this opportunity to get acquainted with these British church leaders, to sense their commitment, their interest and their concern. I was most impressed with the denominational leaders and their desire to be more effective in reaching new people for Christ today. I was also very excited about new methodologies that are being used there, and their openness to new approaches to help the Church. 

I am concerned about what is happening to the Church in England as it compares to what is happening to the Church in the United States. In the U.S., we are experiencing decline in all of the mainline denominations. Church leaders are closing churches; we have inadequate finances, and declining attendance. We have a crisis in the Church in the U.S., and we must respond, so that God’s Church can be strong and vital to reach new people for Christ.  In visiting England, I realized they have experienced this decline in a more significant way than we have in the U.S. And that simply reminds me of how serious the issue is for God’s Church around the planet.  Certainly there are places across the globe where the Church is vital and growing, and filled with excitement and success.  But the sad reality is that there are many places, particularly in the so-called ‘western world’, where the Church is declining in a significant way. 

In Scotland, we met a leader of the Methodist Church.  He explained that in the city of Edinburgh, the number of Methodist Churches had dwindled down to five. The five of them got together and decided there weren’t enough people, so they combined everyone together in one church.  Now, on most Sundays, there will be as many as 100 people.  Only one hundred Methodists in a city of over a half million – that’s a significant decline!

In England, we visited lots of interesting sights. At one point we were shown a series of garden areas on a church property. Around one of the beautiful ponds, there were rock markers. One of the old buildings stones, in fact, marked the garden areas. On one corner there was a stone that looked somewhat like the top of a steeple. I asked the pastor who was showing us around what it was, and he said this was the top of a church that had been torn down some years ago. All across England, we saw beautiful church buildings used for meeting halls; one was a café and retail store. Beautiful old cathedrals now empty of any church relationships, and serving meals and merchandise, rather than Jesus. 

The leaders of the churches in England are trying hard to change the negative trend. I’m enthused about any help that I can give. But the picture of that church steeple now in a rock pile around a garden reminded me of how critical our efforts are.

The secular society that we live in today will put the Church in a rock pile. We must change that enthusiastically, effectively, and immediately!

For information on doing evangelism more effectively and ending this epidemic of Church decline, please visit Leadership Nexus Foundation online or contact me today!

Why is Singles Ministry Dying?

Jesus was clear that we, as Christians

and as church leaders, must have a major concern about making new disciples for Christ and building His Church. The tragedy is so many churches that have had good Singles Ministry in the past are shutting down them down. What was once a thriving ministry is now dying and the overall Church is declining rapidly in most denominations, all over the country. The answer as to “why” this is happening may lie in how we are doing Singles Ministry.

There are many solutions being offered, but not all work. I believe that the solution that works best is to do needs-based ministry. When we help others, they come to know Christ. The secular society in which we live today cannot be reached by using condemning methods or simply by preaching to them, nor by just inviting them to church. We must reach people by helping where there are hurts and needs. I have found in my ministry, this “needs-based” approach works so successfully.  

For example, if you hold a cancer support group, a young mother’s club, or a widow and widowers fellowship at your church, you can integrate those groups into the life of your church. People from those outreach groups will start attending, becoming involved in the church and finding Christ in their lives.  

It is time for us to begin new and vital ministries to singles, particularly to those who have gone through the hurtful struggle of divorce. Half of all marriages are ending in divorce. It is painful for everyone involved, not just for the couple divorcing, but their friends and family, too. It is such a major need. 

Ministering to the needs of those going through divorce is a significant way to not only help the hurting but also to lead people to Christ. I have found it works over and over again. If you put together a divorce adjustment or ministry program it will lead people to your church and to Christ. In over thirty years of doing successful ministry, I have found that if twenty-five people come to your workshop or your class, half of them will become active in your church and make or remake a commitment to Christ within six months of the participating in the class. We have reached, literally, thousands of people with this Christ-centered model of ministry.

Jesus told us to be like the Good Samaritan. In Matthew 25, He told us to help those who are in need. One of the biggest needs in American culture today is ministry to people going through divorce. If you want to know how to do Singles Ministry in a way that works, I will be glad to teach you. By following my training, your church will grow significantly.

All of us are deeply concerned about the decline of the Church. If you are interested in reaching the over 100 million singles in America* and growing your church for Christ contact me today for more information on receiving effective divorce and singles ministry training. You may also visit online for more details and to find out about any upcoming workshops.

*Data from the US Census Bureau, 2011 report (www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/pdf/cb12ff-18_unmarried.pdf)

 

Clergy Killers- Conflict in the Church

Several years ago Lloyd Rediger wrote a book titled Clergy Killers. It spoke so clearly to an issue that is facing church leaders around the world. Since that time many people have been greatly concerned about the phenomena of “clergy killers”, a small group of lay persons literally destroying the life of a pastor. Most pastors have experienced some type of unjustified attack or bullying in the church. Some have been successful in spite of the harassment and stayed in the ministry but, sadly, many have left because of the problem. 

Many of us feel that it is time that the church took a stand and begin to work to develop healthy strategies for these kinds of tragic occurrences in many churches. It’s important that we develop training for clergy and their families to prepare them to deal with conflict. We need to encourage the church to no longer allow this meanness that hurts and destroys. This is not the way Jesus’ church should be run.

On October 2-4, 2012, Leadership Nexus will sponsor Developing Healthy Clergy and Congregations Conference  to deal with this topic. This conference will seek to offer solutions for dealing with church conflict and restoring church unity, vitality and overall church health.

This conference is being presented in conjunction with US Films and the Stressed Clergy Association, a group that seeks to help clergy who have been affected by church conflict. US Films will be sharing with us portions from their new film, Betrayed: The Clergy Killer’s DNA . Betrayed is a shocking documentary that clarifies the issue of clergy abuse and reveals that it affects all faiths and denominations, including the Catholic Church, the Jewish faith, and other religious groups around the world. (Copies of the film are now available, to purchase for only $19.95, through US Films.)

The conference will include teaching by many of the church leaders featured in the movie, including Dr. James Forbes, Minister Emeritus, Riverside Church, New York City; Dr. Lloyd Rediger who will speak about his book, "Clergy Killers" and more. Plus, specialists in the mental health field with expertise in conflict resolution will be speaking and leading workshops.

I encourage you to join us for this life-changing event.  Let’s begin a dialogue about the issue. Let us know your comments, experiences, opinions. Together, united in Christ, we can find a resolution for this problem. Register today!

Ministering to Different Generations

As leaders of the church, we are concerned about reaching the different generations. Several years ago, a concerned church would try a more contemporary worship service to reach the younger generation or "baby boomers". Today, that contemporary service is attended by older people, and the younger generation wants a loud rock service (to which some of the congregation need to wear ear plugs to worship). Our desire to reach people for Jesus Christ leads us in all kinds of directions in order to relate to the various cultures of our generations. 


Someone who greatly understands ministering to different generations is Craig Miller, staff person at the General Board of Discipleship of the Methodist Church. Miller has written several very helpful books on generations, including Baby Boomer Spirituality, Culture Shifts (with Liz Icaza-Willetts), NextChurch.Now, PostModerns, Contemporary Worship for the 21st Century (with Danile T. Benedict), and Forty-Sixty (with Richard H. Gentzler, Jr.). 


I have asked Craig Miller to be one of our keynote speakers at the 2012 Leadership Conference: Reaching the Peak of Excellence, that Leadership Nexus is doing in Colorado Springs on July 31^st, August 1^st, and August 2^nd. Miller will be speaking about generations as a part of his leadership training, primarily, on the last day of the conference. I would recommend that you attend this conference, not only for the leadership teaching that will be fantastic, but to hear Craig Miller explain about how to understand and reach the different generations. Go to our event page or to the GBOD website to find out more about Craig Miller.

Raising Money for Ministry

Pastors continually struggle with the issue of how to raise money. In seminary, we were taught about stewardship and giving, yet, in a difficult economy, we were really never prepared for the struggle we find the local church in today. We desperately need help in being effective in stewardship, fundraising, and church financial management.

Bob Crossman has served as a leader in the Methodist Church in Arkansas and other places. He has written a new stewardship program titled, Committed to Christ: Six Steps to a Generous Life. I would encourage you to get his materials if you are struggling with this coming year’s stewardship program. 

Bob Crossman will be speaking at the 2012 Leadership Conference that Leadership Nexus is doing in Colorado, July 31- August 2, 2012. If you are interested in enrolling for this conference, please visit our website. The teaching that Bob will be doing is worth the trip!