Recently, I
received an email from a young clergy grieving over conflict in his church and
the ineffectiveness of the techniques used in handling the conflict. Research
is showing that churches are literally being destroyed by church fights. A recent documentary, Betrayed: The Clergy Killer’s DNA, by US Films, effectively
demonstrates the destruction that is happening across the Church worldwide.
The number of
ministers leaving ministry today due to conflict is overwhelming. G. Lloyd
Rediger's book, Clergy
Killers is a great resource for outlining the
damaging conflicts pastors encounter in their ministries and how to manage them
to achieve the best outcome for all. In it he writes, “We are not just talking
about conflict anymore, we are talking about emotional and spiritual abuse in
traumatic proportions. And we are discovering that such abuse is exhausting
pastors and draining the energy and resources of congregations and
denominational programs.”[1]
We must learn
how to find healthy resolutions for the conflict occurring in our churches and find
healthy ways to deal with the hurt we have suffered at the hands of our abusers.
On August 19-21, Leadership Nexus will sponsor the Developing Healthy Clergy and Congregations
Conference in
Richmond, Virginia, to deal with this topic. This conference will seek to offer solutions for dealing with church conflict and
restoring church unity, vitality and overall church health. I encourage you to participate you will find all kinds of instructions,
help, and encouragement.
There has
been conflict in the Church since the first century. It is time that we learn
how to handle it before the Church is destroyed! Make plans to join us for this
very important event!
From a lay perspective, just as often, the ministers are causing the conflict.
ReplyDeleteMinisters can cause conflict. Ministers can make existing conflict worse. Laity can cause conflict. Laity can make it worse, too. Too often conflict seeks a scape goat. Ministers often become such as they are the visual of the congregation. Furthermore clergy take the shame even when it isn't thier fault. Like the divorse option to an unheathty marriage, moving the minister is like chaning spouses. If the damage is not addressed the next coupling will be unhealthy too. This leads to an infection of conflict to any unsuspecting marriage or congregation or pastor who is now infected by the perious unhealthy situation.
ReplyDeleteI agree. .. You cannot resolve the conflict by moving the pastor, it needs to be addressed and seek a solution to the problem. So often I've seen this arise in our churches and people leave the church, but who are you really hurting?
ReplyDeleteWe live in a world of conflict and we bring the world into the church rather than taking the church to the world. Conflicts in churches, Temples, Synagogues, etc., are not new. We live in a time where conflict has proliferated in the society and even globally. We understand intellectually what Jesus said about a new commandment to love one another but understanding does not exist at the level of the heart or the will. Our culture profits from and promote conflict and wars. As the church of Jesus the Christ, we must challenge the premise of our culture and not allow the culture to challenge the premise of the church. Love one another, unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteAnother point to consider is this: a conflict occurs; both parties triangulate the situation by segregating the people into poses. Instead of church leadership striving toward reconciliation, the pastor gets blamed, moved or discontinued from ministry. I think this better explains what is happening. May God be merciful to all...
ReplyDeleteOften the minister causes the conflict by trying to stand on Scripture. Often the minister is trying to bring resolution but is rejected because the laity wants to control the Church and get what they want. Sometime I have seen people come to Church to find a spouse and then turn the Church inside out to move the spouse out of the Church. Conflicts can be caused by ministers but laity has some place they can go to get help (besides GOD of course) and that is to D.S. etc, Put clergy has no place to go but to GOD. Praying for our Churches
ReplyDeleteRespect has disappeared
ReplyDelete